The precise arrow of what makes us feel good

Connecting with others is not just opening up!

If we were to open our arms to everyone in the same way, under the guise of unconditional love, not only would relationships lose their delicious uniqueness, but we would also have a high chance of getting hurt!

Not everything in the other person is good to take.

Welcoming the other person emotionally is like welcoming someone into your home: some people can sleep there, others can only spend the evening in the living room… and others simply have no business being there.

This is what we call discernment, the opposite of which is confusion… confusion that is common in a society where we have rarely been educated to take our feelings into account and to be legitimate about our limits!

The archetype of the Discerning One

The lower chest area, with the diaphragm, the tip of the sternum and the last branches of the lungs (the bronchioles) evoke this capacity to sort.

The air that enters us symbolises the relational quality, as we developed in the article on the archetype of the Generous One… but this air, like the food in the intestines, is sorted. The dynamics of the diaphragm allow us to regulate the amplitude and force with which the air enters, and therefore the depth with which it will enter our bronchioles, and therefore the intensity of gas exchange. We know that such regulation is necessary: hyperventilation leads to hyperoxygenation which is dangerous to health… as is insufficient ventilation.

Moreover, it is in this terminal zone of the bronchioles that it is decided what will leave us (mainly carbon dioxide) and what will enter (mainly oxygen).

There is no notion of right or wrong in this phenomenon… everything has its place!

All this is precise… as is the function and dynamics of the tip of the sternum (xiphoid process) which evokes an arrowhead and balances all the micro tensions of the diaphragm to adjust its physiology.

Discernment is a matter of finesse and precision!

 

Relational intelligence

The Discerning is the name given to this area of the body, a member of the Nurturing family, for all the reasons mentioned above, but also because it is the « highest » dimension of this breathing area. The breath begins with the innocence of the bronchial tubes and manubrium (the Spontaneous), unfolds with the Generous and is refined with the Discerning. This is the Heavenly dimension, knowledge, clarity of this sphere of the chest which speaks of love: to love, therefore, with intelligence, seeing clearly who is who, without judgment.

One could say that thanks to this function in us, we are able to discern with whom soul-to-soul relationships are possible… and conversely, with whom entering into a relationship is simply a waste of time.

Assuming this clarity is liberating : Recognising that someone is not ‘right for me’ does not mean that they are not right for someone else! Healthy relationships do not lock you in! They open the chest and make you freer!

This quality of intelligence in love is manifested in the earth’s atmosphere itself: it is a great matrix which not only envelops the earth like a child… but it also sorts the rays and information that come from the sun and the sky! Without this sorting that only lets in what is good for life, we would not be here!

Pathologies

The most common symptoms of this area of the body are feelings of tightness… up to and including cramping and the fear of not being able to breathe.

In the light of what we have just said, it is relevant to think that when such symptoms occur, we are in confusion, we have allowed someone or something to come into us or too close to us… and that we now lack the space to regain a sense of freedom to appreciate what is near us… in the right distance and place!

And the season?

Having gathered the tribe together so that the great work of the year can be done in good spirit, it is certainly here that the intrinsic problems of the relationship (what some call the FHF: the fucking human factor) will emerge. It is at the heart of the relationship that one meets the other. It is in this bath that we must apply this faculty of discernment… so that the collective grows from its learning instead of collapsing under the weight of the unsolvable!

For a community, as for a couple, it is when the difficulty emerges that the relationship begins... it is there that relational intelligence arrives and with it the real encounter!

This end of May is full of this energy because this is when the « doing together » traditionally begins in full swing.

The message of the Discerning One

The Discerning One is constantly calling for a fine-tuned listening to the signs of one’s body and for questioning relationships (in the broadest sense) without guilt, daring to use this question as an arrowhead: « Is this relationship good for me, does it make sense for my soul? »

This, of course, whatever the season!

 

Nicolas BERNARD

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)